Blast from the Past (in 2 parts)

Blast from the Past #1: The Library as a Necessity, Not Just a Really Nice Study Room

I threw up a little bit in my mouth when I read the following in an e-mail from my Thursday night professor (my comments/reactions are in parentheses):

"Hello folks (stike one),

I hope your weekend is going well. I have received many inquiries about searching for books/articles (Seriously? People don't know how to use databases? Ridiculous. Hmmm...I wonder if I should start downloading since class is tomorrow...). Since most books and book chapters cannot be found online (WAIT - WHAT?!), going to the library and making copies the old-fashioned way is the only option (That's it, I'm quitting grad school. F-you, University of Houston. This. Is. A. Joke.). If you are looking for a book which our library does not carry (YOU MEAN THE LIBRARY FOR THE SCHOOL AT WHICH YOU TEACH AND ARE OFFERING THIS COURSE, YOU LAZY COW?!), you can request it via inter library loan..."

Yes, my course on Thursday night not only contains pages and excerpts from books that we were not required to purchase and which are not digital (hence, we will have to physically go to the library and photocopy them), it also contains pages and excerpts from books that CANNOT BE FOUND ON THE UNIVERSITY OF HOUSTON CAMPUS. In my undergraduate work, I literally only checked out books when doing my thesis research, and that was because they hadn't been digitized...YET. The fact that I might actually be expected to HAVE to go to the library is legitimately shocking to me. I am embarrassed that I legitimately feel wronged that these readings are not available on google books; I truly think that someone is trying to trick me. That is foolish, silly, childish, baby-like, and humiliating...and it is real. I am a child of the digital age, and I am blind-sided by the reality that I might be required to use the library for something other than studying and checking out books that I'm too cheap to buy. I might have to use the library out of necessity.

Blast from the Past #2: That Time When I Used to be More Than a Math Teacher

The hilarity of what I'm about to say is that it will be equally and oppositely shocking to two audiences: my teacher friends and my childhood friends. Here it goes:

Today, while discussing teacher support, a colleague of mine suggested that I do a model lesson in a 9th grade English class.

To my childhood friends, me teaching English is - I would guess - the most natural thing in the world. When I run into people, they often assume that this is what I do when they find out I work in education. Despite the fact that my writing has suffered considerably since leaving college (please don't use this opportunity to start judging my blog ...it's admittedly not an excellent sample), I was at one time a "really good" writer and reader according to my teachers and friends. I edited essays for friends routinely (we really, really tortured Mr. Garrett, you guys...bad), I received 5s on both English AP tests without lifting a finger to study or try (I arrived for one of them 45 minutes late and in my pjs) because it came naturally to me, I kicked ass at (and loved) analyzing poetry, and I aced my Freshman Writing Seminar in college (I even won $500 and the Gertrude Spencer Award for Writing in the Disciplines in Fall 2004...http://www.arts.cornell.edu/knight_institute/publicationsprizes/prizewinners/winnersfall04.htm).

I am waxing poetic about my literary love and accomplishments here because of what was said next by my dear friend and colleague Lindsey W.:

"Wait - CAN you teach English?"

I was blown away. To ME I am still the girl who is great at English and who won the Gertrude Spencer Prize. To Lindsey, who I love dearly and hope will not be offended by my use of her name here, I am a Math Teacher. That's all I've been in the time that she's known me. A teacher of Algebra I, then Algebra II, then back to Algebra I, then back to Algebra II. I mean, sure, I've been a grade level chair and a principal...but in the world of education that doesn't DEFINE you. It's a question of WHAT you TEACH. Math. That's my IDENTITY to a huge number of people now.

To me, I am still the girl who struggled with math. Who wanted to cry every time Chris, Mark, Charlton, or Andrew tried to explain some math concept or trick from Mouth Counts that I was convinced I would never understand (thanks for so frequently trying though, guys). To me, I still can't beat Charlton at times table challenges in Mrs. Mahr's class, and Mr. Chesterfield still thinks that my mathematical work is "garbage". I am still spending 3 hours to most of my friends' 1 hour on math homework.

I love teaching Math. A lot. I don't regret it for a moment. I am, however, shocked by the way in which a little piece of paper from Teach For America that said "4-8 Mathematics" changed my identity forever when I held it in my hand in my RA room at 20 years old. I remember how my family laughed when I told them I was placed in Math; how my friends teased as I explained - terrified - that in Texas my Stat credits counted towards "highly qualified" in Math.

I used to be more than a Math Teacher...and yes, I CAN teach this English lesson.

Thank you, Lindsey, for reminding me of all of the facets of who I used to be.

Who were YOU before you became what you teach?